Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Now They're Never Going to Let Me In The Club

There's something I'vs got to come clean about. It's one of my dirty little culinary secrets:

I hate bacon.

I can hear all of you gasping, feverishly racing for the "back" button on your browser, flummoxed that anyone can hate bacon, but, sadly, I do. It wasn't always this way. Once upon a time, I loved bacon deeply- bacon cheeseburgers, bacon-wrapped meat, bacon and eggs (although I never was a fan of the BLT)- and then, one day, I woke up and I didn't feel the same anymore. I don't know why. Something about the way it smells and the greasy tracks it leaves behind left me... disenchanted.

To be honest, I wish I could love bacon again. It would make my life as a pretender to the culinary throne so much easier. I wouldn't stop reading a recipe or watching a cooking show at the mere mention of bacon. I wouldn't stare perplexed at the screen when contestants and judges alike on Top Chef proclaim their intense passion for it. I wouldn't have to pretend to gag when my husband suggests purchasing and cooking the stuff. (Okay, maybe I don't HAVE to do that, but it feels like I do. You know, to make my point. In case I hadn't made it 376 times before.) But alas, my friends, bacon and I fell out of love a long time ago, and I can't pretend any longer that we haven't. However, I know I'm pretty much alone in my disdain, so, as a mea culpa of sorts, I leave you with this video, because even if we can't agree on bacon, I hope we can all agree on Jim Gaffigan.


7 comments:

Scrap It Up (a.k.a. Kendahl) said...

It's okay, my husband hates bacon, too! Now that's really weird - a man that hates bacon.

Just found your blog and have added you to my reader. :)

hannah said...

I am a non-bacon eater as well! The best thing about the utah bubble contest is that it introduced me to so many great new blogs!

Utah Bubble Guy said...

LOL - I like bacon a lot so I will pray for you ;)

Lara said...

Yeah. Bacon is not on my good list. I won't eat anything that has it. :)

Toni and Scott said...

If you would like to give Damien a treat without the mess, try the Bacorater (yeah, not sure how to spell that). It's a plastic dish with 3 arms sticking out of it that you drape the bacon over. Simply put the whole thing in the microwave and the dish at the bottom catches all of the grease while the bacon comes out crisp and delicious. Clean up is a breeze, just rinse and toss in the dishwasher (top rack). I like bacon so much more now that I don't have a greasy stained pan to scrub!

Anna at Mediocre Chocolate said...

A kindred soul! I hate bacon too! I always hate having to skip it in the recipe or use prosciutto or something. I can't stand the mess it makes, and I only buy the par-cooked kind for my husband and kids.

Mary said...

There is the baconater and the baconhater. Sorry to hear of your disdain.